Prologue

"Everything Will Get Better"

That's what my therapists, social workers, police officers, and doctors have been telling me all my life.

I'm still waiting for it to happen.

I lived seventeen years with my alcoholic father and taking care of my schizophrenic mother. Anything that happened to me was better than that, right?

And for a moment, when I was sixteen, I thought that finally something good was happening to me. I thought Shawn was the salvation to my shitty life. My ticket to escape. That he was the only good thing I would ever have.

We were going to live together forever, in a big house with lots of kids. That's what I thought when he asked me out for the first time. Imagine, the first date and I was already envisioning the wedding dress.

What a big mistake.

Shawn ruined my life, well, he made it worse than it already was. I couldn't rebuild anything there. All the walls that kept me strong crumbled after that. I couldn't pick up the pieces anymore. Not anymore.

Because of my shitty life, I'm here now.

Hoping that "Everything will get better."

My mother was admitted to a psychiatric facility for her illness. My father... I don't know. I left home without saying goodbye to him, and I don't think he appreciates my absence either.

I'm staying with my aunt and uncle in Welling, United Kingdom. They offered to take care of me for a long time, but I didn't plan on leaving my mother at that time. She needed me.

Now without her, I had no excuse to stay in that place, I just had to leave.

I thought I could be a normal teenager. High school, family, and the ability to breathe properly every time I walked the streets without being recognized as "the fucking liar" that I was to the ignorant ones.

However, I still feared being pursued and someone finding out about my past, but I preferred to live in fear than in hell itself.

My aunt is loving, I have a damn big wardrobe, a popular cousin. A huge and shiny house. And people who don't know me. This was supposed to be a fresh start.

Everything was going perfectly fine. It was unreal.

But of course, someone kicked my ass and made me react.

I'm sure everything would have turned out great if Donovan hadn't crossed my path... Well, technically, if I hadn't crossed his.

The guy with a dark aura and eyes that burned inside me awakened me.

There was a spark from the first time our eyes met. At first, I thought it was the anger engulfing my body every time he uttered a single word to me, then I realized it was something much more significant and dangerous than that.

That should have been a warning for me. I couldn't afford to fall in love, right? Not after my last and only relationship. But there was always something that brought us together.

Him and me? Who would have thought? We are so different yet so alike. A combination that should never happen, but to my bad luck, it did. It came out terrible and perfect at the same time.

They say you can have two types of love. One that destroys you and one that completes you, so I want to know... Can you have both in the same person?

Donovan is what destroys me and completes me. He's what makes me cry and smile. He's what I need; but I shouldn't want.

Donovan is the person you should never put your faith, hope, or love in. In my case, I shouldn't have placed my heart in his hands. I still remember his words, "Don't trust me." If only temptation hadn't blinded my judgment.

"His secrets and mysteries began to call me, I wanted to find out everything about him.

And I did.

Here we are.

Regretting or thanking God.

I still don't know what to do."