This is another party trick I'm well-acquainted with. It's the free-love thing. Cadence wants me again, but I'm with Nadia and she's with Lake, so she's showing how cool and flexible she is by maneuvering us into a group thing.

My dick is semi-hard because I'm an oversexed male, and the prospect of carnal pleasure is being dangled in front of me, but I would've been cool just hanging with Nadia. No sex. Just making her feel comfortable.

"Come on. Let's go in my bedroom." Cadence speaks only to Nadia, leaving this up to the one person most likely to object.

Nadia shoots me a questioning look.

I lean over and murmur in her ear. "Totally up to you." I mean, I'm not one to turn down a good time. Maybe that's what she's here for.

Cadence picks up her hand and laces her fingers through Nadia's and tugs her toward the bedroom. Nadia follows, so Lake and I close in behind them.

The lights stay off; the door gets shut.

I kiss Nadia because I didn't get enough before. I hear the sounds of clothes being stripped off. Lake's working Cadence. I fill my palm with Nadia's ass, squeezing roughly as I deepen the kiss. Cadence pulls my sleeve toward the bed.

I tow Nadia with me, kissing her the whole way. I get her jacket off and slide my hands under her shirt. She arches against me.

Cadence crawls over to give Nadia another kiss while I cup her breast. She lets out a whimper.

"Oh. Um… where's the bathroom?" Nadia asks.

Cadence laughs throatily. "Down the hall on the left."

"I'll be right back." Nadia slides off the bed and stoops to pick up her jacket.

She slips out the door.

And never comes back.

NADIA

Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic.

Everything is fine. I just need to leave. The metallic clanging grows louder inside my skull.

I find Adrian sucking on a beer in the kitchen, standing guard in front of Kat, who sits on a countertop.

The minute he sees me, he knows what's up. He whirls, puts his hands on Kat's waist, and lifts her down. They follow me out of the apartment, down the stairs and out to the street.

I'm not in a full-on panic attack, thank God. Just teetering on the edge of one. My breath is short, the sound of chains rattles in my head.

I guess it's a testament to how much I like Flynn that I even attempted intimacy. I mean, the thought of letting anyone touch me that way ever again usually freaks me out.

For one second there, I was the girl in the mirror. The one who looks confident and tough. When Cadence kissed me, it wasn't scary. Neither was Flynn's kiss. So I figured it might be the perfect opportunity. Try out sex with people who seem safe.

The group thing made it feel safer, initially, although that probably seems strange. The entire time I've crushed on Flynn, I've worried about what would happen if he wanted to have sex, and I couldn't do it. How embarrassing and awful it would be. It seemed like I'd be in the spotlight, and I just knew I wouldn't be able to perform.

So this opportunity–just fooling around at a party with other people–it seemed like less pressure.

And I was turned on. It seemed great.

Until it wasn't.

And now, I just want to clear out of here before Flynn realizes I'm gone.

"Where's the SUV?" I rub my nose, imagining I smell cigar smoke, even though it's not there. I feel the links of chain around my neck tighten. The edge of desperation creeps in.

Adrian presses the fob, and his alarm beeps.

I jog to it and throw open the back door, practically diving in.

Adrian is kind enough not to say I told you so. "Am I going to kill him?" he asks calmly as he climbs behind the wheel after holding the door open for Kat.

"Nyet."

"Are you okay?" Kat twists in her seat to look back at me.

I touch my fingers to the skin around my lips. I still feel the echo of the kiss where Flynn's facial hair tickled me. "Fine. Totally fine. I just… I was done, that's all."

She turns back. "It was fun to go to an American party." Kat is originally from Ukraine but spent the last seven years in England. My brother–who, like me, left his innocence in Russia–kidnapped her there and held her hostage to capture her father but ended up falling in love with her.

Madly in love. They are adorable together. They have wild, kinky sex all day and night, which is part of the reason I'm trying very hard to get better.

I want to move out and give them privacy. Not be so pathetically dependent. Not get triggered by so many things.

I work hard to swallow. "Yes."

Kat turns again. "Flynn is way into you." She knows about my crush on him. She's the one who cut and colored my hair and did my makeup for tonight. Made me feel like I had a chance.

And it seems she was right. Flynn took me to a party. He kissed me. He brought me in a bedroom to make out.

"I don't like him," Adrian interjects.

"You don't have to like him," Kat points out. "It's Nadia's opinion that matters here."

"He lacks honor. I don't trust him. He will hurt you." Adrian meets my gaze in the rearview mirror. "I'm not trying to cockblock. I just don't think he's right guy, Nadia."

"So you are trying to cockblock, since he's the one with the cock, and you're blocking him," Kat clarifies.

Adrian makes a grouchy sound in his throat.

"He might be just what I need." I hadn't considered it until this moment, but after tonight's experience, it makes sense.

"What?" Adrian snaps. "Why?"

"I can't be in a relationship. I can barely handle my own life. Mixing it with someone else's would be unwise."

"You want a no-stress guy. No pressure. No commitment. That definitely seems like Flynn," Kat says.